That One Day

I wouldn't have much things to relate here, to be frank. It's just that today has been one of the worse day in my entire life. And I mean it. To have been the witness of what you wish you aren't; what more to say being a part of it, and keeping it and just shut up about it...

I felt the remorse and anguish; a tear in my heart. I wished it didn't happen, but it did, and I couldn't do a thing to stop it.

I hope you are okay... I am sorry...

I don't blog

I am a lousy blogger...

If I were to earn money through my blog, I'd have gone bankrupt...

Nothing much to say. I only blog when I am unhappy and upset.

Cheers...

Nuthing - Plain NUT

Life is nothing but an additional letter 'F' in it...

It all depends on how we shape our lives...

It depends on how we colour it...

It depends on how we take care of it...

It depends on how we cherish it...


xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo


B : Psst..... I can't go on drowning in these problems in life. It's just killing me... Actually, in reality, there is just these 2 major problems keeping me entangled and stuck in this hopeless situation. Yes... Those 2 problems...

C : When are you gonna solve 'em?

B: Great... a good question, and believe me, I have no answer to that question. Especially to that MAJOR problem. I just wish .. God! give me that strength to cast away that .. that ,,, dbush!~ duk duk bush bush!!~ er.... that predicament away ... FAR FAR away from me... I don't wanna be so soft-hearted and useless anymore...

C: Aw... You and your wish... It won't come true. You're trying too hard....

B: ROAR!~ It's time to go on! (God, how many seasons have I been telling myself that? It's like a joke on myself! Keep telling myself the same old grandmother story and bashing myself up with those advices and yada yada yada.. and yet, I am still - back to square ONE)

C: Loser.....

B: Are you refering to me?

C: Yeah... Who else? HELLO!~ Who else is reading this apart from you? No one else ok?????

B: Why, you!!~
Gosh!~ Yeah..... ok ok...

C: Get a grip... Things will be ok!~ (chuckles) like how it's gonna be all the time... You'll keep doing the same thing (whisper) Loser...

B: What... Oh... Okay... I need to be strong.... (pause)

C: Yeah yeah.... (smirk)

B: Are you sure no one's reading this?

C: Absolutely....

B: Cool... Then... I hope.... I hope.... I can step outta this freaking RING now...

C: Close your eyes.. and walk straight towards the WALL... Face it.. You are weak.. It won't happen.... You never colour your own life. You let go off your brush and paints...

Blink... Blink...

My eyes blinked again...

What's so hard forgetting something which you know you shouldn't even care about?

"Every chapter in life must end with a bang..."

Thus, this chapter had indeed ended gracefully, though the climax was excruciating. Then again, you have accepted everything well. It's time to close the lid to this book, and begin with another.

Sighing, I tossed the book away, underneath a pile of torn sheets; tucking it away harshly from the sight of men. I knew I had to move on. I glanced on the shelves richly stocked with thousands and millions of books, manuscripts. I stood up, unsteadily; walked towards one of the shelves. I covered my nose, and blew the ancient dusts away. I quickly closed both my eyes for a while for fear of the dust entering my eyes. At the same time, I paused my breathing momentarily... *Gasped*

Puff... The thick layer of dust rose and filled the air. I walked closer and tried to read the titles of the books. I fished out one of the old books and examined its cover.

Embossed in faded gold, it read, "A New Chapter - A New Beginning"...

I flipped the first few pages open. The words were so old that some of them were barely noticeable. Somehow, I could sense what the words were trying to tell me...

~CHAPTER ONE~

It is better to lose a lover than to love a loser.

~CHAPTER TWO~

Yesterday is history, tomorrow is mystery, today is a gift; that is why it's called the present...

~CHAPTER THREE~

Success is not for the chosen few; Success is chosen by few...

Emptiness

Plonk...

The empty can fell onto the floor with a loud clanging sound... He picked it up, and barely inspecting it closely, he flung it further away...

Hours passed. The occassional sound of thunder shudders the tiny heart of that rusted tin can. It was shivering in cold sweat.

Hark!~ The first raindrop dampen the exposed little tin can. Meek and humble, it laid still, unwavered by the threats of Mother Nature. Accepting its fate and its emptiness in life, it could barely roll itself away to hide underneath the bushes admist the strong winds and heavy thuds of rain.

There is just no justice in the world...

Some people are just vulnerable, their lighted flames put off with a simple puff... their happiness and hopes taken away, in a blink of an eye.

They are left alone, with nothing... oh no... with something... EMPTINESS

WorSt day of Life... 11 Feb 2009

Wednesday... 11th Feb.. 2009..

Couldn't bear to blog it till now...

(if you read my previous blogs, yeah.. February is finally here... I was practically whimpering my way through the sufferings these days gave me...)

Nothing much to say, just that it was one of the the worst days in my life. How would you not feel it if you were in my shoes, experiencing the same feelings. Tortured, tormented and yada yada yada....

Well, the heart, my Dil.. was in fact, drained out of its liveliness and joy. Nothing seemed the same after that day...

The reason? Only I know why... Only the 4 letter words can fit to describe me.

No No. Not that FXXX word... It's another FXXX word...

F O O L .....

Gave in so much. And nothing gained in the end...

SienZ

Life is just not a pot of gold...

Wargh...
This feeling is not enjoyable at all. You won't like it.
Wed is the countdown...
11 Feb 2009
The day... When...
Sigh...
Haiz...
What can I say?

Get A Grip… Inhale… Grasp Harder… Strive On…

(originally from my friendster blog)
Well,

Anyone could have understood how hard it is to write things on a virtual diary that seems to be transparent and open to the public for reading. Then again, I assume that this has been the norm of the recent years.

I no longer feel being myself nowadays. Things seemed to have changed at an astronomical speed. Emotions spurred and calmed within minutes. Life seems to be so uncontrollable. Sighing is no longer considered a momentary pause to gain more strength to carry on; it somehow symbolises ‘giving up’.

What the hell is wrong with me? I had foreseen the problem, and I knew what was to happen. Yet, stubbornly, I took the rest of my steps into those problems, and with each step, I sank for the worse. (sigh)

The predicaments in life tend to worsen.. well, if you know the rest of my story, you would know who initiated it. To the extent of I don’t even know what the hell am I writing now.

[Darn... Can you like give me a break? Do you even know what you want from me? Can you stop confusing yourself as well as me? Don't you know what I have been trying to do? I want to give up... But things are just not that easy...]

If you ever read my blog, let me tell you this… [ specifically u noe who u r ]

“At times, we cannot simply stop what we have started just like that… Every story begins with a prologue; and it ends with a conclusion or epilogue.”

You have no right to barge into people’s life in the intersection of the first few chapters, draining out the climaxes, spoiling all the suspenses… and then.. erasing the future of the conclusion….
You have plainly destroyed, ruptured, spoilt, ruined my story.. my life…

(again... Y O U K N O W W H O Y O U A R E )

I need new colours in my life… You have drained out all the colours from it. I am doing your bidding, and after February 2009, I will be unloading the greatest ever freight OFF my life…
And then, perhaps… my skies will be blue once again. And my eyes, bright and shiny… gleaming with anticipation… It will be the awakening and the dawning of H O P E…

p/s :

i betcha (the readers) couldn’t make any head or tail outta what i had written… well, of course… i gotta make it so discreet if this is gonna be an OPEN online blog…

Cheers…

Shuckering Shuddering..

Phew... Unfolding another reel of weeks of holidays... Well, thank God, they are finally here. Gone are the days of slavery at work.. well at least for a couple of weeks...

Anyway, it marks the dawn of labourious weeks of hard work in KYSC. Gotta really buck up... buck up... and really plan and earn and spend and enjoy and earn and spend and the list goes on and on...

Again, (apologetically), I feel bad that I have neglected my bloggy again.. wargh haahaha...
Can't seemed to find time and ideas of what to fill into the blog. At times, things seemed so discreet and private that I don't feel like telling people what I think and feel... And when it comes to the times when I am down and sad, and I want to flood my blog with my down-trodden feelings, it makes me sound entirely stupid and foolish and negative... Gosh!! Isn't it plain confusing? Again, when one's feeling down, who would blog? I'd rather go Facebooking.,.... Hahax...

Life hasn't entirely changed much lately. Just a couple of new strains in life, especially at work. Well, you have no idea how tough it was... The Form 5's were to sit for the finals, and it was pure torture getting ready their certs, documents and marks. Then, the 10th November marked their last day in school. And I was barely able to hold back my tears as they were to shake hands with all of us... hisk hisk... (embarassing moment). Well, the tears flew down, gushed down, especially when the gurls started sniffing and their eyes went red... And then, I had to control, control, control, cannot control, cannot control... OUT OF CONTROL...

LOL... Anyway, they are in the midst of their exams now. Good luck, my dearies... All the best to you... my 5 Science 1 (Year of 2008)...

BoBz

Months flew by... the comical episodes of life...

Again, *apologetically* I would like to extend my words of remorse to my blog... *blush*.. I have neglected it totally...

Seriously, months have sped past without a second looking behind the frames of time. Pages after pages have flipped by as the clock ticks everyday. I paced on slowly in this horrid world.

+ + + current + + +

It was now 12.49 am to be exact. My eyelids were slowly sliding off into slumber. I persevered; and biting my lips tightly, I reminded myself hastily that I ought to blog a little. If this blog were to talk, it would have complained endlessly on my kind of uncaring attitude towards it.

Finally, I have changed the bearing of my car's wheel, and the buzzing sound died off. It was a sheer pleasure of not having to listen to that monotonous, humming sound that somehow got louder every time I sped on the street. Ironically, a thought of a recent happening knocked on the door to my sense of humour, or my funny bone, and it was rather amusing that it tickles me whenever I think of it....

(flashback)

My sister drove my car a few weeks back, without having the stereo on. The buzzing sound was alarming to her. Wondering if I had actually 'turbonized' my engine, she wound down the windscreen, only to find the sound even louder than ever. She gulped and as she slowed down at the traffic lights, she fumbled into her bag and fished out her mobile. She sped-dialled my number and chuckled nervously as she asked, "Wei... you have turbo engine ah?"

At that time I was on my way to Tebrau City in my friend's car and the moment I heard that she actually stopped the car for inspection, I roared hillariously and nearly had a stitch in my sides. I knew precisely that she was referring to the sound of the bearing but she didn't have the idea that it needed replacement... Well, that was a funny part...

***********************************************************************************

Yet another story that nearly got me exploded was that time when a bank personnel called me on the 13th August 2008, a day before my birthday...

Customer Service Rep : Hello, this is... calling from ... Bank... can I speak to Mr. Bob please?
Me : Yeah, speaking!
CSR : Before I proceed, I'd like to do some simple verification with you, sir.
Me : Of course, ok...
CSR : What is your billing address?? Your mother's maiden name? Bla Bla Bla....

(I answered those questions non-chalantly, as they were the normal procedural questions any bank would ask... Now, here comes the funny part)

CSR : Can I have your IC number again, sir?
Me : Okay .... XXXXXX-XX-XXXX
CSR : CORRECT, SIR. THAT IS YOUR IC NUMBER (Like, duh!~ of course I know! She made it sounded as if I had answered the trivia questions correctly and won myself a car!)
Oh Sir, I see that tomorrow is your birthday, so here, on behalf of my bank, I would like to wish you...........

A VERY HAPPY "BELATED" BIRTHDAY!~

And with that last greeting, I nearly fell off my chair... Without knowing how to reply her, I muttered out a quick 'Thank You' and hung up. And of course, I burst into laughter seconds after I related to my sister about the conversation...

Cheers, dudes!!~